There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
