And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
