Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Do you remember whose house we're in?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
