I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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