Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
