You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
