the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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