can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
