Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
