A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
where are my eyebrows?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
