Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
