I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
