oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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