I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
