So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
