you guys were way drunker than both of me
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
