just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
