I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Randomize