Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
