chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
