playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
