bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
