video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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