why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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