then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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