Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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