I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
being pregnant is like rehab
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
