She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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