He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize