I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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