Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
