yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
this will be a night to untag.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
