Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
