Got a toothbrush?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
