pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
This show inspires me to have sex in space
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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