Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize