While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
