She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
