How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize