would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
