The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
