...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
