i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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