If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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