whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
