i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
