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Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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