dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
