If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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