If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
why is half of my head shaved?
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