apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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