Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
