i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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