I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
