he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
