Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm gonna fight the coyote
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
